I know a few women including myself that have had a C-Section whether it was an emergency or elective and what astounds me is that it isn’t seen to be an acceptable way to give birth. My question is, Does it really matter? As long as the baby is safe and the mother is safe then forget how the baby is born.
Now that being said, there is a part of me that feels like I failed and that I think does come down to the stigma that is associated with C-Sections.
So without further delay here is my Story……
It’s two day’s before my due date (I was due on Sunday 1st June 2014) and its around lunch time.The contraction start coming, nothing major but their coming, I text my husband to let him know so he comes back to work from home, just in case. By the evening they had stopped and I was frustrated. Nothing happened on the Saturday and then D-Day, I waited, I waited for something to happen, anything to happen but again there was nothing. I started to do whatever I could to get things moving cleaning the kitchen floor on my hands and knees, dancing, eating spicy food. Then in the early hours of the Tuesday morning the contraction’s were back, stronger this time but by mid-day they had stopped again, I was frustrated but I knew the following day I would be having my Sweep in the afternoon.
Wednesday 4th June 2014 started with contraction stronger than before but not painful. They were every 10 minutes or so. I went to my Midwife appointment and had my sweep. While I was there they had gone from every 10 minutes to every 5 minutes, this was it this was the start. Little did I know that Logan wouldn’t be born until the Friday. The Wednesday night was frustrating and painful with 2 trips in the night to the hospital and birth times we had been sent home. The contractions just kept coming, I’d never know pain like it ( The pain from my Ectopic pregnancy was completely different and didn’t stop) with every contraction I had to fight to keep my panic attacks at bay.
By Mid-morning Thursday I think it was I need to go back to the hospital, while en-route to the hospital the sonic boom had gone off causing a split second of pain in the car between my husband and father-in-law.
I had got to 6 cm at home with just my husband’s help and support, within 30 minutes I had gone to 7 cm, fantastic. But that was it for a while. I had decided while at home that I wanted the epidural as well as gas and air. The pain relief really helped so much, not only did it take some of the pain away but it help a lot with my panic attacks. Finally late in the middle of the night it was time to push. I was already exhausted before I began. I pushed for about and hour and half and Logan hadn’t budge, after an examination it had been decided that they needed to try to aid me with the forceps and the Ventouse in theatre. Neither worked Logan was partly back to back and his head was not in the right place, it was time to get him out safely. So emergency C-Section it was.
They were still closing me up when Logan was cleaned and brought out to us. Matt felt guilty at the time because they handed Logan to him first and not me. So I never actually got the first hold, which at the time didn’t bother me. To be honest none of it bothered me, the C-Section was fine, it wasn’t ideal because of recovery but you just have to get on with it. Things became even harder if possible when the incision split open, it was about a cm wide and 3mm deep.
Looking back I am sad I had to have a Section because I feel like I failed and like I didn’t get to experience a natural vaginal birth. I know how I feel is partly because there are so many things out there that say you’re not a real mother/you had it easy etc. But believe me there was nothing easy about my labour, there was nothing easy about pushing for an hour and half when your already exhausted and nothings happens.
If it wasn’t for the C-Section both me and Logan may not have been here, we should all be grateful that if something went wrong that they could have the baby out in something like 7 minutes I think.
It does not matter how you give birth, it is hard work and you earned the title of Mother. Lets drop the stigma that if you had a C-Section then you’re not a mother, its absolute rubbish. End of!
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Until next time….