As mum’s we have all questioned whether we good enough, whether we are doing the right thing, the best thing. The list is endless. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t question my ability as a mother. Normally it’s my husband who on the really bad days where I’m in tears tell’s me that I am a great mother because Logan is happy and healthy.
Being pregnant I knew my life would change and it did change and mostly for the better. Does the lack of sleep suck? yes it does it really does (especially after last night….sleep what sleep?). All the way through my pregnancy with Logan people would tell me, you’ll never sleep the same again, you’ll never get a full night’s sleep even when they have grown up. My response was always something along the lines of well I’m a light sleeper anyway so it won’t make that much difference. I’ll tell you know I haven’t slept the same. Yes in the beginning when Logan was a new-born I thought I would never get to sleep ever again, but as Logan got older and started sleeping through the night I noticed my sleep had changed. At first I would still wake at 3 something am expecting Logan to wake up for a bottle but after a few nights something wonderful starting to happen. For the 1st time in a long time I was sleeping through the night. I’m talking dead to the world sleep. Of course this doesn’t do any good on the odd night Logan doesn’t go through. But on the whole I get a better night’s sleep than I ever did before. And it’s all down to the fact that I’m exhausted from looking after a toddler every day and now that I’m working part-time I’m even more exhausted and in a way it is such a nice feeling to have because I know at the end of the day when I get into bed it is pure bliss.
One of the things that I have learnt since becoming a mother is my naivety at how well I would do at losing the baby weight. Don’t get me wrong I have lost 2 stone since I had Logan but being over weight before being pregnant means I still have 3 stone to lose, and I have struggled (if you haven’t been following my Jelly Belly To Yummy Mummy posts take a read) I thought it would be easy that I’d be able to just work out 3-5 days a week and that it would be easy to fit in because I was at home with a baby. I was WRONG! I know there are some mum’s out there who has found it really easy to work out with a baby and lose their baby weight. But not me. I love food and I have no self-control or will power when it comes to naughty treats. This is something I am trying to work on.
Having Logan is without a doubt the best thing I have ever done. Has it always been easy? No! Has it always been worth it? Absolutely! one thing that never entered my head was how much having a child would affect how I see myself or the affect it would have on my identity. Now having Logan hasn’t been the only thing that has had an effort on myself with regards to my identity or how I see myself but I definitely have neglected who I am. I have made Logan my world as he should be but I didn’t leave any room for myself. I have lost all my sense of style (I’m not saying I had major style but I had my own look) but in the early days of C-Section recovery and breast-feeding I went for the comfies…..Jogging bottons and t-shirts and then it progressed to jeans and t-shirt and it has just kind of stayed there. I’ve become stuck in a rut and the thought of trying to be stylish makes me feel like an idiot, I’ll be honest.
But I am slowly getting there as Logan is getting older I’m slowly finding myself find my feet with my new identity as a mum and as a person. This is just the tip of the ice burg for me as what becoming a mother has done to me. I love being a mum, it’s hard and it’s challenging and everyday is a learning curve, everyday I’m finding new things out about myself and about Logan. I knew this will never change until the day I die.
I love to know how becoming a mother changed you or what you learnt from it.
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As always thank you for reading and until next time.