I’m a natural worrier, I always have been, it’s just who I am. Matt is forever telling me to stop worrying so much. So it is only natural that I put pressure on myself trying to be the perfect Mother.
When Logan was born I was scared to death that if someone other than myself or Matt held Logan something would happen and he would die…I was totally bonkers and I totally blame all the hormones. But seriously I would worry that if something happened it would be the worst possible scenario. Even to this day I still imagine the worst thing happening. When Logan started to walk I would have at least five heart attacks a day! ( This is metaphorically speaking, not real heart attacks)
Anyway because I’m a worrier I am forever questioning my ability as a Mother. I question every decision I make and I constantly go to Matt for reassurance that I am doing the right thing. I put pressure on myself for the silliest things.
- I’ll have read something on some forum/website about how much a toddler Logan’s age would be saying. I then compare this to Logan and instantly I’m like shit Logan is behind. I will then tell Matt that we need to set X amount of time aside to purely do talking activities with Logan each day….(a few day’s later I’m like who let the crazy Lady out).
- Logan refuses to eat most vegetables, except Pea’s, he loves peas. He will pop them like Sweets. I question what food Logan will and will not eat and I do blame myself for this. I don’t have the best diet but it also isn’t the worst and I try to make sure Logan’s is better than mine. Anyway I end up reminding myself that every toddler is like this. My mum quite shares stories with us about the food phases I went through at Logan’s age.
- OMG why isn’t Logan potty trained….This one is utterly crazy. In moments of true Crazy this one pops up and it is crazy you read stories about parents whose kids are potty trained by 19 months and you think Why won’t mine give up nappies yet? I know they will use a potty when they are ready. We have one in the living room for Logan to get use to. I don’t want to potty train him yet or even try to because he just isn’t ready yet. But I do find myself comparing him to others and I shouldn’t.
I know that I’m not the only parent to have these thoughts and worries and to even put an insane amount of pressure on myself. But what I find really crazy is that we put this pressure on ourselves knowing full well that we are being utterly ridiculous doing it.
The Bottom line is this……I know my son is healthy and happy, he has food, clothes and has a place he can call home that is warm and safe and he has the love of his family. ( It breaks my heart to know there are children out there that aren’t as lucky).
One thing I want to do I to stop worrying about what I am doing or not doing as a parent. To stop worrying about what Logan excels at and what he doesn’t excel at. I want to live in the now with him. So I wanted to share this photo from today with you of us living in the moment.
As always Thank You for taking the time to stop by and have a read. Please do get in touch either in the comments below or Via Twitter or Facebook. Or even pop over to Instagram and say Hi. I will reply to everyone.
Until next time….