I would like to start by saying what you are about to read is a very personal post of something that has left me Outraged, Disgusted And Emotional!!
Last Wednesday was probably one of the worst days of my life if not the worst!
Out of the blue I had received a phone call from child services (social services)… You can imagine my surprise. Especially when the reason they were calling was to tell me that my husband Matt and I were reported for neglecting our son Logan….
At nearly 6 months pregnant and hormonal, I was in tears on the phone within seconds maybe a minute at best. I had been told they had received an anonymous call, stating that we were leaving our son to cry day and night. And without any attempt to calm/distract or pacify him and that we were shouting things like shut up etc at him.
Logan has not long had chicken pox. He’s also 2 which means hell! The chicken pox has dramatically disturbed his sleeping pattern and his normal bed time routine. This isn’t great by itself, now add in the fact he’s in the terrible 2’s testing every boundary he can. There will be a lot of crying and tantrums regardless of what we try to do.
So what does our neighbour decide is the best thing to do? Report us, not knock on the door and ask if everything is ok as he is keeping her up no, she reports us. Now your probably wondering why I say “her” well although the call was anonymous there is only one person outside of our house who Logan could wake up and that’s our next door neighbour as her bedroom is next to his. We can’t prove this for sure but it’s pretty obvious you don’t need a degree in Quantum Physics to work it out.
I Felt Like I was a Crap Mother…
When your accused of something like this it make’s you feel like crap in every way. I felt like a crap mother who must have been doing something wrong! At that exact point of thinking that way I was wrong….Wrong for ever doubting my abilities as a mother. I was wrong for thinking I was a crap mother. Wrong for letting some Bitch (I’m sorry, I don’t like swearing on here or calling people names. But on this occasion it is required) make me feel that way and to try to tell me we were neglecting our Son.
What is Neglect?
The NSPCC’s definition of Neglect is as follows:-
“Neglect is the ongoing failure to meet a child’s basic needs and is the most common form of child abuse.
A child may be left hungry or dirty, without adequate clothing, shelter, supervision, medical or health care.
A child may be put in danger or not protected from physical or emotional harm.
They may not get the love, care and attention they need from their parents.
A child who’s neglected will often suffer from other abuse as well. Neglect is dangerous and can cause serious, long-term damage – even death.”
Not one of these is relevant to Logan not one!
What makes me so angry is that Child Services have had to waste time with this stupid, unfounded allegation instead of spending their time on cases where children are in danger. I understand they have to follow it up. However the allegation had been made without thought to the aftermath of the call.
Dealing With The Aftermath…
So not only did this allegation make me question my abilities but I was second guessing myself. Sacred to let Logan cry for a nano second incase we are reported again. But we are now also on child services system. My stress levels have also shot through the roof. If you read my last pregnancy update you’ll know that I’ve had a lot to deal with already. Now this. It’s been a rough period.
Matt was more rational, livid but rational after all he didn’t have hormones raging through his body. He originally planned to go and knock on said neighbour’s door and have a word however with little to no hard proof he had a better idea…
A letter to our 4 immediate neighbour’s (2 either side of our house) it was an open letter so to speak explaining we had received the call and he addressed the NSPCC’s definition of neglect bit by bit in relation to Logan. Matt also gave the person a opportunity to come and apologise for the call. All in all it was a well written letter designed to make the guilty person feel completely and utterly ashamed of themselves.
Matt posted the letter yesterday morning before we had a day out. One of the neighbour’s who received the letter called round, not the guilty person but our neighbour on the other side. A very lovely woman (who also has a 2-year-old) without us saying anything also believes our other neighborough to be the guilty party as they have had problems with her also. Anyway she is disgusted by what had happened to us and provided us with her mobile should we ever need to chat or need a character reference/witness so to speak.
This post while I appreciate is a long post and if you’ve read this far I thank you. For me this my way of getting closure. Will I be totally over it? probably not for a while but I no longer fell upset/emotional or angry. Yes I’m livid but not in an outward way. Will I ever speak to her again or show her respect? Absolutely not. As far as I’m concerned if you want my respect you have to earn it and reporting myself and my husband for child neglect is not going to get you it.
I want to end this post on a happy note so here is a really cute picture of my Well cared for and loved Son Logan…
Thank you for reading this very personal post. If you would like to get in touch please leave a comment below or get in touch via my Social Media, I will respond to every one.
Until next time,