I’ve started to notice lately my husband Matt and I don’t get much time together and in all honesty it probably hasn’t been a focus for either of us. It’s not because we don’t want to, but because other things/life happen.
Before we had Logan we were really good at making time for each and going on dates to the cinema or out for a meal, I loved it, we use to make it sporadic. For example one Friday while I was at work I really fancied going out on a date night with Matt for and meal and movie. We didn’t have my step-daughter so after work we just freshened ourselves up looked to see what movies were on and what times and then headed out the door. It was so much fun. It allowed us to just be together chatting away about anything and everything like the early days.
However once Logan came along and we were in that new-born period and me being the control freak that I am, not being ready to hand my son over to someone else to babysit we didn’t go out on dates and we didn’t really have stay at home dates. We just wanted to mong out and sleep.
Fast forward to present day and we still don’t really go out like we use to mainly because we don’t have the same money coming in that we use to have and we also have Logan to feed. But we were getting good at making time at home to be together whether it was to play computer games, chat, watch tv, rent a movie, we made time for each other.
But lately since I started working in the evenings it seems to be really hard work to have that time together. We made a deal when Logan was little to give each other an hour and a half each to ourselves a couple of nights a week. For example Matt would spend his time playing games online with his friends on his Play Station, while I would spend my time soaking in the bath or pampering myself or what ever. It was a way for us to have a break from parenting while the other person dealt with Logan if he woke up. For me I think it is incredibly important to have time to yourself to recharge and just be you. Not mummy. Not daddy. Just you!
Well as I was saying since I now work evenings I have to try to take my time over a Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night. So as I try to take my time over two of those nights, it generally only leaves one night for ourselves to catch up and have time together as a couple. Some weekends with what ever is planned of picking Lexi up I end up not having my time and then feeling resentful because my “Me time” is important and not getting it sucks and I end up in a bad mood because life has not allowed me to take it. Stupid really.
Lately though with Matt having so much work on he spends pretty much every evening working after Logan has gone to bed and after doing a full days job on top of that. I know some wives would be happy that they aren’t being bothered or moaned at by their husbands and can watch their soaps in peace, Just like I know some husbands are happy that them working means the wife isn’t nagging them. But for me I hate it because we don’t get the time together and it does have an effect on your relationship, you get ratty with each other or what ever. I just tend to miss his conversation and his company even if he is in the same room. Matt is my best friend in whole world and I love him more than words could ever say. He is my rock and I know he feels the same way about me. When his work load is so full that he has to work into the evening/night I know it’s not because he doesn’t want to spend time with me it’s just he’s really busy.
This has been the case over the years even before Logan was born. But one thing we have always made sure happens once the work load has eased off is that we have some real quality time together. For me I like the little things Matt does, like when he makes me a cuppa without me asking or when he comes over just to have a cuddle or a kiss. As long as I get some of his time each week I’m happy, the last couple of weeks where we have only had one evening together on the sofa, we’ve rented a film and had a glass of wine. We may not have talked but the cuddle said a thousand words.
We have been through so much together that has made us stronger individually and as a couple that no matter what is happening or how little time we get together for what ever reason I know I can count on him and visa versa and that the time we do get is special even if it’s jut watching tv together.
How do you and your husband/wife/Partner like to make time for each other? Do you go out on dates or maybe you spend the last 5 minutes of the day in bed chatting. Drop a comment below or get in touch via twitter or Facebook etc and let me know I love hearing from you and I will reply to everyone.
As always thanks for reading.