I’m Not The Perfect Wife Or Mother!

I will be the first person to put my hand up and say I’m not the perfect wife or mother! My husband would probably argue the toss, saying I’m one of the most lovely, caring and selfless person he knows.

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I can be very lazy and sometimes I can be selfish, but there’s the part of me that Loves looking after my husband and son. In some ways I’m old-fashioned in that because I am now a housewife/stay at home mum, what ever you want to call me I believe it is my job to run the house. I make Matt’s lunch everyday for him while he works from home. I also make sure that Matt and Logan have been fed before I sit down to eat. I cook dinner everyday, except for the day’s where we’ve eaten out or got a takeaway.

Now pre Logan we had a rule in our house that who ever cooked the other person had to do the washing up, but since I left my job I cook and I wash up with Matt, it’s a job we now do together. With Matt working so much lately it’s our time together to catch up, to just chat about anything and everything. Sometimes if Matt is really busy working then I will just to the dishes myself.

I’m the sort of person that I can help I will and I like looking after my family. While I will do a lot in terms of looking after my family I do also believe in independence and as Logan get’s older we will teach him to do certain things for himself so that when the come’s where he flies the nest he will be ready to step into the world as an independent man.

I’ve been a mum now for nearly 15 month’s and I have to say it is the best and most rewarding job I’ve ever done but at the same time it has been the hardest job I’ve ever done and at time’s has bought me to tears and even made me question my ability to parent my child. I’m not perfect and I know that if I have another child I will do some thing’s differently because I now know better ways to do them and because you learn by your mistakes.

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As mother’s we are always under pressure to be these perfect domestic women who keep immaculate home’s and parent their children with ease and grace and snap their bodies back into shape just like that. But the reality is we’re not perfect and we are always learning about how to parent our children no matter how old they are or how many we have.

It has taken me nearly 15 month’s to except that I’m not perfect and that’s ok and to love my post baby body with its tiger stripes and over hanging belly. I know now it’s ok because I’ve learned that I can’t be perfect, there’s no such thing, I have a loving family and they love me the way I am. I know that although I’m still learning how to be a mum/wife/individual I’m doing what is right and best for my son, he is happy and healthy and that is what matters.

And as for me I will continue to be a work in progress, I’m slowly getting back into shape and looking after myself and I’m doing this for myself and for my family so that I can be the best version of me.

I’m not the perfect wife or mother and I’m ok with that.

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Do you feel the same? or do you struggle with trying to be the perfect partner and parent? let me know in the comment’s or on Twitter or Facebook.

Thanks for reading and until next time.

Sam.

Other people's views

  1. Hannah Budding Smiles says:

    Really lovely post hun and very true. Gosh more often than not I consider myself such a crap wife and mum and just the other day I was crying and asked Phil why he doesn’t leave Toby and I behind and go live a good life with a proper wife Haha I’m sure you’re an amazing wife and mum, you certainly seem like a lovely person xx

    1. Sam says:

      Aw thanks….I have my moment’s I was hell on leg’s to Matt when I was pregnant and even since Logan was born I quite often lose my rag at just because I’m tired or hungry. lol I don’t know about you but some day’s I just feel completely over whelmed by having a little person completely relying on me to show them the way’s of the world and how to do all the simple things that we as adults take for granted. It scares me sometimes.
      I’m an emotional person even before having Logan and since him it’s got worse lol I can’t watch one born without crying my eyes out even if there isn’t a sad story on it.
      Thank you I like to think I’m a nice person when I’m not exhusted and sleep deprived. lol. You seem like a lovely person too, you seem so much more on the ball with motherhood than me lol most days I feel like I’m blindly stumbling through it lol. xx

  2. Wave to Mummy says:

    What a lovely post – I’m not a perfect mum either, and heh, even less of a perfect wife. But I think that is fine. There is a lot of societal pressure on mums to be ‘perfect’ (whatever that might be) and you just have to say no to it, you are enough as what you are 🙂

    1. Sam says:

      Thank you! exactly, I think there is too much pressure on mum’s and it can be hard espically if your a young 1st time mum. But you do just get to a point where you think…”do you know what? I don’t care what people think, I’m happy and healthy and my family is happy and healthy and that is all that matter’s”.

  3. StressedMum says:

    What a lovely and honest post. No one is perfect but to me having a loving happy home and the kids happy and healthy, everything else takes second place, I no longer stress about housework not done, or something, it will get done later.

    1. Sam says:

      Thank you! Yeah I don’t tend to stress about housework either, I’ve never been a fan of it. but I do it just not a priority in my books

  4. A Cornish Mum says:

    There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ anything and wouldn’t life be boring if everyone was?! 😉 It’s our imperfections that make us human, and so long as you have a happy child then I wouldn’t worry about anything else 😉

    Stevie x

    1. Sam says:

      I couldn’t agree more. it’s just such a shame that so many mum’s feel pressured to be these perfect creature’s. I’ve always said nobodies perfect but it’s only been since having my son that I’ve really understood that statement and been ok with myself not being perfect.

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